Feel Love's Wound *
Avatar Adi Da Samraj
The egoic (or self-Contracted) individual Is (By Virtue Of his or her History, self-Idea, and Lack Of Spiritual, Transcendental, and Divine Realization) Chronically Bound To The Ritual Of Rejection. The emotional (or emotional-sexual) Career Of egoity Tends To Manifest As A Chronic Complaint That Always Says, By Countless Means, "You Do Not Love me." This Abusive Complaint Is Itself The Means Whereby the egoic individual Constantly Enforces his or her Chronic Wanting Need To Reject, Avoid, or Fail To Love others. Indeed, This Complaint Is More Than A Complaint. It Is A self-Image (The Heart-Sick or self-Pitying and Precious Idea That "I" Is Rejected) and An Angry Act Of Retaliation (Whereby others Are Punished For Not Sufficiently Adoring, pleasurizing, and Immortalizing the Precious ego-"I" 1 ).
The egoic (or self-Contracted) individual Is Chronically and Reactively Contracted From all of its relations. Fear Is The Root Of this self-Contraction, and The Conceived Purpose Of this self-Contraction Is self-Preservation, and Even self-Glorification. Indeed, Fear Is the self-Contraction. The self-Contraction (or the ego-I) Is The Root-Action (or Primal Mood) That Is Fear. Therefore, All Of The self-Preserving, self-Glorifying, and other-Punishing Efforts Of the ego-"I" (or the self-Contracted body-mind) Only Preserve, Glorify, and Intensify Fear Itself
Fear, the ego-"I", Un-Love, or The Total Ritual Of self-Contraction Must Be Understood and Transcended. All Of Fear, egoity, self-Contraction, or Un-Love Is Only Suffering. It Is Only Destructive. And It Is Entirely Un-Necessary.
Fear, egoity, self-Contraction, or Un-Love Is Chronically Expressed Through The Complex Ritual Of Rejection, or The Communication Of The Dominant Idea "You Do Not Love me". Once This Is (In The Way Of The Heart 2 ) Truly, and Completely, and Most Fundamentally Understood—The Ritual Of Rejection, Fear, egoity, self-Contraction, or Un-Love Can Be Directly Transcended, If Only It Is Summarily Replaced By The Ordeal (or Discipline and Practice) Of ego-Transcending Love, and (Then, By Means Of My Avatarically 3 Self-Transmitted Divine Grace) Heart-Communion With Me and (Ultimately) Heart-Communication Of My Avatarically Self-Revealed (and Self-Evidently Divine) Self-Condition, In The Form "I Love You".
Therefore, In The Way and Manner Of The Heart, Understand Your Separate and Separative self (As Un-Love) and Transcend Your Separate and Separative self (By Love). And This Is Perfected (Progressively, In The Way and Manner Of The Heart) By Devotional (or ego-Transcending and ego-Forgetting) Heart-Surrender Of the conditional body-mind To My Avatarically-Born Bodily (Human) Divine Form, and My Avatarically Self-Revealed Spiritual (and Always Blessing) Divine Presence, and My Avatarically Self-Revealed (and Very, and Transcendental, and Perfectly Subjective, and Inherently Spiritual, and Inherently egoless, and Inherently Perfect, and Self-Evidently Divine) State.
If You Will Thus Be Love (By This Devotion To Me), You Must Also Constantly Encounter, Understand, and Transcend The Rejection Rituals Of others who Are (Even If Temporarily or Only Apparently) Bereft Of Divine Wisdom. Therefore, If You Will Be Love (As My Devotee), You Must (In The Way and Manner Of The Heart) Always Skillfully Transcend The Tendency To Become Un-Love (and, Thus, To Become self-Bound, Apparently Divorced From Heart-Communion With Me) In Reaction To The Apparent Lovelessness Of others. And You Must Not Withdraw From Heart-Communion With Me (or Become Degraded By Reactive Un-Love) Even When Circumstances Within Your Intimate Sphere (or Within The Sphere Of Your Appropriate social Responsibility) Require You To Make Difficult Gestures To Counter and Control The Effects (or Undermine and Discipline The Negative and Destructive Effectiveness) Of The Rituals Of Un-Love That Are Performed By others.
For those who Are Committed To Love (and who, Therefore, Always Commune With Me, The One Who Is Love), Even Rejection By others Is Received and Accepted As A Wound, Not An Insult. Even The Heart-Necessity To Love and To Be Loved Is A Wound. Even The Fullest Realization Of Love Is A Wound That Never Heals.
The egoic Ritual Calls every individual To Defend himself or herself Against The Wounds Of Love and The Wounding Signs Of Un-Love (or egoic self-Contraction) In the daily world. Therefore, Even In The Context Of True Intimacy, 4 The Tendency (Apart From Spiritual Responsibility) Is To Act As If Every Wound (Which Is Simply A Hurt) Is An Insult (or A Reason To Punish).
The Reactive Rituals Of egoity Must Be Released By The ego-Transcending (and Then Spiritual) Practice Of Love. This Requires Each and Every Practitioner Of The Way Of The Heart To Observe, Understand, and Relinquish The emotionally Reactive Cycle Of Rejection and Punishment. And The Necessary Prerequisites For Such Relinquishment Are Vulnerability (or The Ability To Feel The Wounds Of Love Without Retaliation), Sensitivity To the other In Love (or The Ability To Sympathetically Observe, Understand, Forgive, Love, and Not Punish or Dissociate From the other In Love), and Love Itself (or The Ability To Love, To Know You Are Loved, To Receive Love, and To Know That Both You and the other, Regardless Of Any Appearance To The Contrary, Are Vulnerable To Love and Heart-Requiring Of Love).
It Is Not Necessary (or Even Possible) To Become Immune To The Feeling Of Being Rejected. To Become Thus Immune, You Would Have To Become Immune To Love Itself What Is Necessary (and Also Possible) Is To Enter Fully Into The Spiritual Life-Sphere Of Love. In The Way Of The Heart, This Is Done By First Entering (By Heart) Into My Spiritual Company, and (Therein) Surrendering To My Divine "Embrace" Of Love—Wherein Not Only Are You Loved, but You Are (To The Degree the ego-"I" Is Surrendered, Forgotten, and Transcended In Me) Love Itself. Then You Must Magnify That Love-Radiance In the world of human relationships.
If You Will Do This, Then You Must Do The Sadhana 5 (or Concentrated Practice) Of True Active Love and Real (True and Steady) Trust. As A Practical Matter, You Must Stop Dramatizing The egoic Ritual Of Betrayal In Reaction To The Feeling Of Being Rejected. You Must Understand, Transcend, and Release The Tendency To Respond (or React) To Signs Of Rejection (or Signs That You Are Not Loved) As If You Are Insulted, Rather Than Wounded. That Is To Say, You Must Stop Punishing and Rejecting others When You Feel Rejected. If You Punish another When You Feel This, You Will Act As If You Are Immune To Love's Wound. Thus, You Will Pretend To Be Angrily Insulted, Rather Than Suffer To Be Wounded. In The Process, You Will Withdraw and Withhold Love. You Will Stand Off, Independent and Dissociated. You Will Only Reinforce The Feeling Of Being Rejected, and You Will Compound It By Actually Rejecting the other. In This Manner, You Will Become Un-Love. You Will Fail To Love. You Will Fail To Live In The Sphere Of Love. Your Own Acts Of Un-Love Will Degrade You, Delude You, and Separate You From Your Love-partner (or Your partners In Love) and From Love Itself. Therefore, those who Fail To Practice The Sadhana Of Love In their intimate emotional-sexual relationships (and In human relationships Generally) Will, By That Failure, Turn Away (or Contract) From Real God 6 (or The Great Condition That Is Reality Itself).
Love Does Not Fail For You When You Are Rejected or Betrayed or Apparently Not Loved. Love Fails For You When You Reject, Betray, and Do Not Love. Therefore, If You Listen To Me, and (Also) If You Hear Me, and (Also) If You See Me 7 —Do Not Stand Off From Relationship. Be Vulnerable. Be Wounded, When Necessary—and Endure That Wound (or Hurt). Do Not Punish the other In Love. Communicate To one another, Even Discipline one another—but Do Not Dissociate From one another or Fail To Grant one another The Knowledge Of Love. Realize That each one Wants To Love and To Be Loved By the other In Love. Therefore, Love. Do This Rather Than Make Any Effort To Get Rid Of The Feeling Of Being Rejected. To Feel Rejected Is To Feel The Hurt Of Not Being Loved. Allow That Hurt, but Do Not Let It Become The Feeling Of Lovelessness. Be Vulnerable, and (Thus) Not Insulted. If You Are Merely Hurt, You Will Still Know The Necessity (or The Heart's Requirement) Of Love, and You Will Still Know The Necessity (or The Heart's Requirement) To Love.
The Habit Of Reacting To Apparent Rejection (By others) As If It Were An Insult Always Coincides With (and Only Reveals) The Habit Of Rejecting (or Not Loving) others. Any one whose Habitual Tendency Is To Reject and Not Love others (In The Face Of their Apparent Acts Of Rejection and UnLove) Will Tend To Reject and Not Love others Even When they Are Only Loving. Narcissus—The Personification Of the ego, the self-Contraction, or The Complex Avoidance Of Relationship—Is Famous For his Rejection Of The Lady, Echo (who Only Loved him). Therefore, If You Listen To Me, and (Also) If You Hear Me, and (Also) If You See Me—Be Vulnerable In Love. If You Remain Vulnerable In Love, You Will Still Feel Love's Wound, but You Will Remain In Love. In This Manner, You Will Always Remain In The human (and, Ultimately, Divine) Sphere Of Love.
Therefore, The Most Direct Way To Know Love In every moment Is To Be Love In every moment.
In The Only-By-Me Revealed and Given Way Of The Heart (or Way Of Adidam), My Devotee Is Founded In This Capability By Virtue Of his or her Constant Heart-Communion With Me. Therefore, If any such a one Fails To Be Steady In Heart-Communion With Me, Then he or she Will Become Weak In Love. And To Be Weak In Love (At Any Stage Of Life) Is To Be Always Already Independent, Insulted, Empty With Craving, In Search Of Love, Manipulative, Un-Happy, and Moved To Punish, Betray, and Destroy all relationships. Such a Weak one Always Already Feels Rejected and Is Never Satisfied. Indeed, such a one Is Not Even Found To Be Truly Lovable By others. Therefore, Be Always Only Sudden Love.
By Actively egoically Not Loving (or By egoically Disliking, egoically Rejecting, egoically Hating, or, In Any Manner, Actively egoically Un-Loving) what and whom You (egoically) Do Not Love, You Mutilate (and, Effectively, Destroy) Your psycho-physical Integrity (or Hearted body-mind). Likewise, By Actively egoically Not Loving You, what or who (In The self-Contracted, or egoic, Manner) Does Not Love You Cannot but Mutilate and Effectively Destroy its own (or his or her own) psycho-physical Integrity (or Hearted body-mind). Understand This. Activate Your lifetime On The Basis Of This Twofold Understanding. Thoroughly (and Most Fundamentally) Understand Your ego-"I", and (By The Really and Truly Effective Counter-egoic Means I Reveal and Give To You, and To every one and all), Actively (Constantly), and In The ego-anscending Manner, Love each and every thing and one In Me.
Always Actively Be My True Devotee—Always Actively Heart-Radiating Through and Beyond all self-Contraction, Even (Thus and Thereby) "Brightening" 8 Your Own (and entire) body-mind In Me. Therefore, Do Not Do Fear, Sorrow, Anger, or Even Any Kind Of Un-Love In egoic (or selfContracted, or Heart-Contracted) Reaction To any thing or any one that Actively (or, Otherwise, Apparently) Does Not Love You, but Only (Actively, and Constantly) Do Love. Do This Love-Sadhana (or Discipline and Way Of The Heart) By Actively Abiding In Constant ego-Surrendering, ego-Forgetting, and ego-Transcending Heart-Communion With Me, Yielding The Four Principal Faculties (Of sense-body, emotion, attention, and breath) 9 In Love-Response To My Inherent and Inherently "Bright" Attractiveness, Always Heart-Yielding In Love With Me—For I Am The Divine Spiritual Presence That Is Ever-Present (Even To Every Heart) As The Always Already "Bright" (Self-Existing and Self-Radiant) Divine Love-Bliss-Feeling (Presence, and Person, and State) Of Being (Itself).
Those who Love Are Love, and others Inevitably Love them. Those who Seek For Love Are Not themselves Active Love, and So they Do Not Find It. (And Even If they Are Loved, they Do Not Get The Knowledge Of It.) Only The Lover Is Lovable. Therefore, I Call and "Brighten" Every Heart To Be As True Love Is. And My Every Listening Devotee, My Every Hearing Devotee, and My Every Seeing Devotee Is (By Me) Gifted and Enabled To Realize (and, Thus, To Really and Truly Demonstrate) This Radiant (and Radiating) Principle (and Way) Of The Heart By Means Of True Active (and Freely, Deeply Attracted) Love Of Me (and With Real, True Itust In Me), The One Who Is (Self-Existing) As Self-Radiant Love (or The "Bright") Itself.
* Avatar Adi Da uses a unique convention of capitalization here (and in some of His other Writings as well), capitalizing almost every word. This form of capitalization is (in and of itself) a Teaching device by which Avatar Adi Da Communicates to the reader that everything that exists arises as a modification of the Divine Reality, and it is only our own commitment to the point of view of the ego that prevents us from living on the basis of this Truth.
1. The ego-"l" is the fundamental activity of self-contraction, or the presumption of separate and separative existence.
2. "The Way of the Heart" is an alternate name for the Way Given by Avatar Adi Da—primarily known as "Adidam" or "The Way of Adidam".
3. The term "Avataric" (and vanants such as "Avatarically") indicates that Avatar Adi Da's human Incarnation is not merely the life of an ordinary man, but the utterly Divine "Descent" of Real God in human Form.
4. "True intimacy" is Avatar Adi Da's technical phrase for the sadhana (or Spiritual and Yogic discipline) of devotion to Him in the context of emotional-sexual intimacy, whether or not the intimates are sexually active. "True intimacy" is a discipline to which all intimately related devotees of Avatar Adi Da adapt from the beginning of their practice of the Way of Adidam.
5. "Sadhana" is a Sanskrit word that means "self-transcending religious or Spiritual practice"
6. The term "Real God" indicates the True Source of all conditions, the True and Spiritual Divine Person, rather than any egoic (and, thus, false, or limited) presumptions about "God".
7. "Listening" is Avatar Adi Da's technical term for the orientation, disposition, and beginning practice of the Way of Adidam. A listening devotee "listens" to Avatar Adi Da Samraj by "considering" His Teaching-Argument and His Leelas (stories), and by practicing feeling-Contemplation of Him (primarily of His bodily human Divine Form). In the total (or full and complete) practice of the Way of Adidam, effective listening is the necessary prerequisite for true hearing and true seeing.
"Hearing" is a technical term used by Avatar Adi Da to indicate most fundamental understanding of the act of egoity (or self-contraction). Hearing is the unique capability to directly transcend the self-contraction, such that, simultaneous with that transcending, there is the intuitive awakening to Avatar Adi Da's Self-Revelation As the Divine Person and Self-Condition. The capability of true hearing can only be Granted by Avatar Adi Da's Grace, to His fully practicing devotee who has effectively completed the process of listening. Only on the basis of such hearing can Spiritually Awakened practice of the Way of Adidam truly (or with full responsibility) begin.
When, in the practice of the Way of Adidam, hearing (or most fundamental self-understanding) is steadily exercised in meditation and in life, the native feeling of the heart ceases to be chronically constricted by self-contraction. The heart then begins to Radiate as love in response to the Divine Spiritual Presence of Avatar Adi Da.
This emotional and Spiritual response of the whole being is what Avatar Adi Da calls "seeing". Seeing is emotional conversion from the reactive emotions that characterize egoic self-obsession, to the open-hearted, Radiant Happiness that characterizes Spiritual devotion to Avatar Adi Da. This true and stable emotional conversion coincides with true and stable receptivity to Avatar Adi Da's Spintual Transmission, and both of these are prerequisites to further Spiritual advancement in the Way of Adidam.
8. By the word "Bright" (and its variations, such as "Brightness"), Avatar Adi Da refers to the eternally, infinitely, and inherently Self-Radiant Divine, Indivisible and Indestructible Light Itself.
9. Avatar Adi Da has Instructed His devotees that the practice of devotional Communion with Him involves the effortless and direct surrender of the four principal faculties of the human body-mind. These faculties are mind (or attention), emotion (or feeling), body, and breath.
The above is an excerpt from:
"The Emotional-Sexual Frontal Yoga of
The ego-Transcending Wound Of Love",
in Ruchira Avatara Hridaya-Tantra Yoga
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